Book: 20200623 to 20201003, "The Game" by Nell Strauss

20200623 - Step 1: Select a Target

Turn art into science. Interesting.

Not sure whether this book works, but it surely needs a lot of practice.

It's also good for merely enjoying the stories in this book.

My understanding is, that most of women do fast thinking, which is controlled by gene, that's the reason that they can be easily affected/controlled.

PS: It's interesting that Nell put such a scary, sad story into the first chapter. Maybe he wants to remind every reader not to get lost.

20200629 - Step 2: Approach and Open

Is this art or science? How creative can it be?

Everyone has weak points. In the master's eyes, there are so many things so obvious.

a. Confidence

b. Smile

c. Well-groomed

d. Possessing a sense of humor

e. Connecting with people

f. Being seen as the social center of a room

These are the characteristics of an alpha male. I guess, reading non-fiction books and practice can grant d, e, f to anyone.

Things can be done through natural way or in-natural way (hypnosis). Both work great and interesting, and both need plenty of practice.

But, in the end, it's about the ultimate question: What do we want? We are not just animals.

20200914 - Step 3: Demonstrate Value

What a miserable life Mr Mystery has!

Maybe, most of people think they will be happy if they can get more and more material stuff and fame. They will not be happy.

Pickup Art is very useful skill. But it only helps when we have the correct life goal. Pickup Art itself is a normal specialty, which cannot guarantee happiness.

Nothing is easy. There is no way to learn the seduction skill in a few days by reading a book and a few nights to practice it. Even in perfect environment, it still takes a few months.

But have some tips and guides are much better than no tip and no guide. And, it's fun to learn something that I never touched before.

It's always stressful. Only intentional practice helps.

The dating skill is not all about dating, but more about confidence. Confidence helps with almost everything.

Everyone has weak point. No matter how charming they look like.

Sex is not always beautiful, especially for ONS, I guess.

For sure, sex is not the ultimate goal but part of the game. Any target relies on external object, is illusion.

Women is not a tool or mean. The prize of the game is the long lasting happiness in our lives.

There is no soul mate, and the game is not "once per life" opportunity but more like playing chess. Sometimes we win, and sometimes we lose. Both are all right. We don't lose anything when we fail, and the fun is in the game itself.

From the other point of view, in many time, we have to take risk to get a chance to win.

 

Mr Mystery has healthy body and perfect mind, but he failed his soul. That means he doesn't have correct long term goal.

 

We should never visit a place if there is no policy, army and jail. Any rule is better than NO RULE.

To win doesn't mean we need to get the top score. In many cases, we just need to pass. And, as "Introducing NLP" says, there is no success and failure, only verification and learning.

 

20200921 - Step 4: Disarm the Obstacles

We should not ask too many questions. Instead, we can start the conversation from sharing some personal experience, and then use this sharing to probe which part the other people likes to discuss with.

When someone is talking to you, it's very important to listen carefully. It shows respect, and other people will easily notice whether you are paying full attention. Everyone need this as a good habit.

For psychology, there are three interesting parts: NLP, meditation, hypnosis. I know a bit about the relationship between NLP and meditation, but know nothing about hynosis.

What can we talk about with strangers? This question could be easy and could be hard, it depends on how much time we have spent on thinking about this topic. If we read a lot of books and make many plans, then it will not be too hard to find a topic. There are so many good books, such as "Frogs Into Princes-Neuro Linguistic Programming(1979)".

Women don't really need meaningful talking. The best one should be half fictional half real. This is exactly what I need to improve.

Hypnosis is mystery. It sounds like some code for our gene.

Sexual skill is also an important link. Another one is integrity.

Is it really so easy to set up soul mate feeling? I think I need to reread this book later on.

20200925 - Step 5: Isolate the Target

The reason that Nell Strauss is more successful than other PUAs(pickup artist), is because he really know much, much more than others. It's not just about seduction, but about whole a lot of other things. Hypnosis attracts others for short time, but knowledge is power, and it is much more powerful in long term.

Don't get scared. "Two steps forward, one step back", this is how we should play the game.

 

First, open.

Then demonstrate higher value.

Next, build rapport and an emotional connection.

Finally, create a physical connection.

The pickup game is very shallow, which means there is no meaning in it. Initially we may feel good about it, but then, in the end, what's the point? Show off? For single man who is struggling with finding a girlfriend, it's of course useful. But after that, this skill has to be used in other areas to help improve communication.

Attracting other people is just an auxiliary skill, not a goal. With its help, we will feel easier to achieve other goal. It conflicts with one principle: don't hurt other people. This conflict means we need to be very careful of what we are going to do.

It's not enough to just be myself. It has to be my best self.

Seduction itself could be alcohol. When spending too much time on it, we become alcoholics. How to avoid that? Set up higher goal. In this book, Nell rarely mentions some money more than 2k. But, at least I know, even 200k is nothing. When someone make 2k through a seduction session, it is a miserable result. Anything less than 20k is not desirable to me.

And, it hurts the other side. Most of the women want to set up a long term relationship. ONS could be fun for a few nights, but it also could be waste of time.

20200928 - Step 6: Create an Emotional Connection

For most of the woman, no matter how hot they are, if they work as cashier or appear in a low level bar, that tell you they are lack of self discipline. In subconscious, I think they are looking for meeting Mr Right or some rich nice guy. PUAs create illusion to let them thought that they met the right men.

What would happen when magic meets reality? Magic is turned into hundreds of businesses, spread like wild fire.

 

Pickup skill is very powerful at the beginning, but it breaks the principles of long term relationship. It's very helpful to get to know the woman we like, but after that, we have to back to the traditional game: Sacrifice, loyalty, financial security, commitment, etc.

Nell is right. The skill is not just for pickup. It can also be used in religion, in politics and in life. It can be used in constructive work.

20200928 - Step 7: Extract to a Seduction Location

Sarging is for losers. The winners attract woman. They don't need to manipulate other women.

 

Finally I see some big money numbers here: US$50000 per month, which means around AU$20000 per week. It's quite expensive, and risky. Personally I definitely don't like this idea. The better way is to test the idea with minimum cost. What would I do, maybe just rent some nice place for 24 hours per week?

20200930 - Step 8: Pump Buying Temperature

Game is just game, like chess game. It's a skill, but not part of life.

 

How to attract women in 20 minutes? Then what? We are not social robots or sex robots. Meaningful life needs much, much more than conquest and sex.

Celebrity is normal people with one special professional skill. Normally they are rich, but that doesn't mean they have better perception of the world. Just the opposite, most of them don't read much, so they have poor understanding about the world and other people.

20201002 - Step 9: Make Physical Connection

Now it's more about the redemption of PUAs, instead of women. Sarging skills are useless in maintaining long term relationship.

20201002 - Step 10: Blast Last-Minute Resistance

Everyone needs something huge to plug the hole in our heart. We are all going to die, soon, anyway.

 

Sex/women is not enough. Religion is not enough. How about books? Meditation?

One thing for sure: if I don't know what it is, I'd better keep reading, and start meditating.

20201003 - Step 11: Manage Expectations

Most of people are mediocre, unless they use their time wisely to study and think and practice. Body, mind, soul. In the end, it's about soul.

How hard it is to meet marvelous souls? I guess quite hard. Do I have marvelous soul? I highly doubt it. At least not yet. Nell Strauss didn't tell us how Lisa became Lisa, she just popped out from nowhere.

Starting from step 7, this book goes into something not related to seduction skill anymore. It's about what's going to happen after getting the capability. I believe, if we combine seduction skill with our daily life and work, it helps a lot.

[20211110 update]

PUA is a type of "Influence" (by Robert Cialdini). There is similar thing in movie "The.Wolf.of.Wall.Street.2013", which shows how to convice other people to invest by arouse their imagination. "Thinking, fast and slow" has similar description about our fear about "terrorism", which is seriously exaggerated.

Medias, politicians, they all do the same thing. "The Crowd" (by Lebon, Gustave) are controlled by those influence, sometimes subconsciously.

This "influence" is designed by our gene. As "Selfish Gene" says, in natural environment, these gene "features" help us to survive. But in modern society, it distorts our perception of the real world.

How to minimize the illusion? Assume that we are wrong, then think hard based on the first principle.