Book: 20210125 to 20210203, "When Breath Becomes Air" by Paul Kalanithi

20210125 - Foreword / by Abraham Verghese 

Bachelor degree in English and Biology. Master degree in English literature. In the end, Paul Kalanithi became neurosurgeon. He looks has India ancestry.

There seems a ultimate goal for the purpose of his whole life: this book.

20210126 - Prologue

When facing the possibility of our own death, even doctors are scared. They act like normal people: try to avoid the reality. They don't want to follow "the first principle".

 

Black Swan is everywhere. Rarely happens, but we can see them everywhere. Nobody is exempted. So, it's better prepare for them. It's inevitable like it nor not.

20210131 - In perfect health I begin

Excellent gene, together with reading, guarantee success. Even without much help from school and parents.

Have two jobs at the same time is normal. But one as a chef, and one as a scientist? That's not normal! Paul Kalanithi is wise.

We get great at something if we keep it in our mind all the time. Inspirations come from that. If we keep our ultimate goal in mind for dozens of years, we are more likely to reach it, as we would try to catch all opportunities to get closer to it.

Many skills need a lot of practice. Medical related skills need us to put our emotion aside. We need to treat the human body as a machine.

"What makes life meaningful enough to go on living?" p71. Different people have different answer. To me, that's the dignity of life. Breathing and thinking is not enough.

Our brain can make miracle. Meditation and exercise helps, to some extent.

Surgeon's life is hard. I think best surgeons work like the best software engineers. They enjoy work 100 hours per week. But not just capability, perception is still very important. We need to know where the boundary is, or else we would get lost.

20210203 - Cease not till death

Alexander Pope: "A little learning is a dangerous thing."

The five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. It might goes backwards for terminal illness.

When we are in serious sickness, we lost track/perception of time. Then, money/fame/status etc. all external stuff is not important anymore. Even if we are lucky and don't get cancer, we only get maybe 40 more years to live. At the end of our lives, it's still same. External stuff is not that important, once we get "enough" of them.

So, the levels below (and including) "capability" is not that important. How about "perception"? It helps us to avoid unnecessary stress and panic. Apart from that, it's not important. "Identity"? This one includes kids, and no, not important.

"Spirit" is the only important thing when we are facing death. This is how Buddha and Jesus solve the problem.

To some extent, coma is similar to deep meditation and sleeping: they all let us lose the perception of time. Only meditation let us control this procedure intentionally. That means, we can control "time" subjectively.

 

Meditation let us control our brain. When becoming the master of meditation, we control our subjective time.

20210203 - Epilogue / by Lucy Kalanithi

Striving and enjoyment are the meaning of life.

 

The book tells us what terminal illness looks like. Sooner or later, it will come to us.